Saturday, April 13, 2002

i can't believe it has been so long. it's a slippery slope. yes, a slippery slope.

in my week of repose, i realized that my journal has stayed free and clear of people. i don't think i morgan, my girlfriend of three months, even once. absurd. i make only vague or passing references to friends or family. i suppose i have stayed away from discussing my relationships with others in the journal because i fear exposing them in ways that would make them or others uncomfortable. i talk about myself because i have rights to divulge all that is my own; but to discuss others, i venture into dangerous i risk unwittingly divulging the secrets of others? will i say something that hurts someone i care about, only through such a disconnected channel that i have no way of knowing the pain i am inflicting and no way to become aware of it, to remedy such mistakes and insensitivity...
on the other hand, i don't think i have hurtful things to say about anyone...nor would it most interest me to broadcast my friends' secrets. so perhaps all my reasoning is bunk. a lame excuse to protect me from examining relationships that mean a lot to me, from trying to express their importance in words. but what am i doing now, but procrastinating, continuing along the introspectivespeculative tone of previous entries, putting off the plunge into describing a word were people move and collide, and ideas and emotions have origins. I have a guest, who i am now ignoring. jam session tonight in my room. i should go attend to this. oh. and talked to noah liben for the first time since i was 14 over IM tonight.