Wednesday, June 19, 2002

I should probably capture this moment on the slow-exposure film of blog.
I am sad.
intensely.
i've been picked up and cast down through the foundations that had been standing me up
as if those foundations were no more than thin ice
the mere veil of icy waters i now find myself swimming it.
absurd drama! if i could only hoist myself out, find dry land, stand firmly upon it,
then i could expel you and find my head again.
but i can find no foundations, and am inexplicably underwater
freezing.
composing poor metaphors to try to make myself feel better. maybe heroic. maybe artful.
like sad might have some function.
if it did, i could stand on that
or a reason
reason would be enough.
none of that.
just sad.

where were my foundations? if i could get my bearings, maybe i might pull myself out.
questions.
questions and pursuit of questions, to answers that procreate wildly birthing new questions upon questions.
in questions birthing questions i have always laid my feet assuredly
i could feel rich soil between my toes.
i will go dream in search of my questions, and awake perhaps to find my feet solidly planted